Our Cover Girl
by wordsandwonders
Summary: She's beautiful, a perfect original, but she doesn't believe it, she believes she's nothing special. Nothing important, but that's a secret. She has to smile, she doesn't want anyone to see her sad, especially not them.


Playing guitar always made 19 year old Jasmine Davis feel better, and right now that's what she needed. She felt down, and truth be told, ugly. Weird for her to say, being a plus sized model and all. All her ads and photo shoots have been about celebrating your body, and loving who you are, but she was good at faking a smile. She didn't like the way she looked. She wasn't very tall, at only 5'4, wearing a size 16 was humiliating. She was portioned, curves in all the right places, with just a bit of a tummy. It didn't seem like she minded. But like I said she was good at faking a smile.

She was a model, but she wasn't an airhead as the stereotype goes. She was a college graduate, an aspiring poet working on her first book, and she did modeling on the side.

She was playing guitar because she'd gone shopping earlier, and things weren't fitting right, she got frustrated and went home to the Palm Woods hotel, where her and her mom had been living for 10 months now, ever since Jasmine decided she wanted her dream of being a writer to be more than a dream.

After a disappointing shopping day, she took a shower put on a pair of tights and a baggy t-shirt. She didn't know what she was playing, she just was.

She heard the key in the lock and checked the clock 5:53 PM. "Hi, mom!" she said loudly.

A few footsteps later her mom appeared at the door.

"Hi, honey, how was your day?" her mom stuck her arms out.

Jasmine put the guitar down and got up to give her mom a hug.

"Good, I went shopping, oh and I may have a photo shoot with Cover Girl in a few weeks I'm still waiting to hear."

Her mom let go, took a step back and looked her daughter up and down.

"You're gaining weight."

Jasmine grunted at the statement, "Mom… do we _have _to talk about-"

"I wouldn't have noticed, but you're wearing tights, it really shows."

Jasmine said nothing.

"Did you do the laundry?" it seemed like her mom was dropping the weight subject, so she smiled and said, "Yea, I did it early this morning."

Her mom smiled "How are your clothes fitting? Are they getting any smaller?"

"_Mom," _

"Don't _mom _me Jasmine,"

"My clothes fit fine."

"Then why are you wearing tights, girls your size shouldn't."

Jasmine fought back a laugh; at her age her mom had been literally _twice _her size, often saying having jasmine was what made her lose most the weight.

"I'm just at home, no one's gonna see me."

"I'd still watch it if I were you."

"_You're not."_

"Right. I'm just saying to watch yourself, no one wants a _fat _cover girl on a magazine."

And there was that word again.

The word that could make jasmine break down in an instant.

Jasmine went back to her room, sitting back on her bed with her guitar.

"For your sake, I'd say no eating past 6."

"Ok mom." Jasmine just needed the conversation to end at this point she'd say anything.

20 minutes later her mom opens the door,

"Oh I brought home fish and chips by the way. You wanna come eat?"

Jasmine looked at the clock 6:25 PM. _is she baiting me, or did she just forget what she _just _said? _Jasmine thought.

"Not hungry, thanks though."

"You know you can't lose weight by not eating."

"I _know." _Jasmine snapped back, hoping her mom would walk away before she started crying.

"Ok, well. I'm going out, be back by 11."

Jasmine said bye, she heard the door shut and lock and she broke down crying.

When she was done, she washed her face dried her eyes and combed out her hair. The curly short dark brown mess that it was. She went to put back the brush in her nightstand drawer, when her eyes fell upon the razor, she bit her lip and forced herself to put the brush away and close the drawer without picking the razor up.

She sat on her bed and turned her palms upward. There was butterfly drawn on each her wrists. It was a trick she used. She was a cutter, sad but true, it had been her reality for a few years now. The butterflies were there to remind her that you couldn't destroy beauty; you have to replace a bad thought with a good one.

The boys drew them for her. _The _boys. It sounded weird, but living in the palm woods and being an only child, that what she called them. Carlos, Kendall, James and Logan, known to most as the boys of Big Time Rush. They were like best friends and protectors to her making her feel welcomed literally minutes after she arrived with introductions and smiles, and jokes for course.

She remembered when they first found out about her cutting. They had all gone to the pool, Jasmine carefully placing cover up on the scars, so they wouldn't notice. She'd had much practice with covering up the marks. What she hadn't counted on was James picking her up from her pool chair, and playful throwing her to Kendall who was in the pool arms outstretched and waiting. Kendall was the first notice as he lifted both of them from the water, and noticed the cover up turning the water murky. He looked to her face first, about to crack a joke about her wearing makeup to the pool, but her face looked the same, he noticed her arms, his eyes widened.

"Kendall…"

He said nothing just lifted her up to James, whose eyes were just as wide. James wrapped a towel around her standing her up on her feet, luckily no one but the boys were paying attention.

Logan gingerly took her hand, bringing her up and inside apartment 2J, which was thankfully empty. Logan sat next to her on one side Carlos on the other, the only one confused as to what had just happened. But being the sweetheart he was he busied himself drying her hair with another towel. Kendall and James stood looked down at her concerned.

"Guys look…" she started.

"You cut yourself?" Kendall asked in a low disbelieving whisper.

"No…" she laughed awkwardly. "Look I have to go…"

Logan still had her arm turned upward on his lap.

"These cuts are straight, and there are multiple, they aren't accidents Jas." Logan examined them.

She started to tear up "I have to go…"

She stood up, when Carlos spoke up for the first time. "Why would you destroy such beautiful skin?" he sounded like he was about to cry. She looked to him just in time to see a tear fall from his face. She sat back down, placing a hand on his cheek.

"I don't know 'Los. I really don't. I've been doing it for years, it helps when I get sad."

"How could such a beautiful person be so sad?" he hugged her.

The boys had been helping her; they would pick her up for a "day in the studio", drop her to the therapist, and pick her back up when they finished. They covered for her, not even her mom knew, about _any _of it. She would talk to them too. About everything, she even did James' nails for him (against his will) once! That was fun!

In fact it was Logan who told her about the butterfly effect she used. The boys understood this was serious, but she was their friend, they loved her, and she trusted them. One day her and Carlos drew butterflies on both her wrists. "Promise you won't ruin them? They took me hours!"

"It's been 20 minutes Los! But I promise I will _try _my hardest not to ruin them."

So sitting on her bed, she looked at the drawer, and down at the butterflies they'd drawn for her a day ago. "I promised,"

"_Hey it's Carlos! Leave a message."_

She hung up and tried the three other numbers.

They all went to voicemail. _They were probably recording._

She pulled the razor out the drawer, she drew long lines across her biceps but was careful not to cut skin, that way she wasn't breaking her promise.

Her phone rang **Kendall**

"Hey."

"_Hey, we were recording sorry, we're on our way home. You're on speaker."_

"I was just wondering what you guys were up to is all."

"_We're gonna stop for food, you want?"_ it was James.

"No, I'm good."

"Come on! You sure you don't want to pig out with us?" Carlos teased.

"I'm _positive."_

"Whoa, you ok Jas?" Logan caught the edge in her voice.

"Fine, I have to go guys."

She cursed herself for letting that slip. They'd come check on her now. She swapped her t-shirt for a long sleeve to hide the red lines on her mocha colored skin.

Sure enough, 20 minutes later the door knocked.

"Hey guys," she gave them all hugs and cheek kisses as per the usual for them.

"Hey you, we know you said no, but we bought you some fries, and a peppermint chocolate milkshake like you like."

"That's great guys, thank you, but I'm not hungry."

Carlos busied himself "checking on his butterflies," as he called it. Jasmine honestly just thought he liked looking at how pretty they were. Jasmine smiled and laughed took him his butterflies were fine and to sit and eat.

James looked at her as they ate. She just sat there, not looking at the food. He held a fry up to her mouth and she took it. Almost immediately after swallowing her stomach growled.

"See? I knew you were hungry!" he smiled.

"I'm not hungry James,"

"Then what was that?"

"My stomach, being weird."

She stood to get them napkins. Logan followed, wanting to check on her.

She folded the napkins, and turned to walk out of the kitchen. Logan caught her lightly by the bicep to ask her if she was ok.

She hissed, the lines were still sore.

He rose an eyebrow at her letting go, rolling up the sleeves, he was expecting cuts, but was both relieved and confused when he only saw scratch marks.

"I promised…" she whispered to him, glancing at Carlos, whom to her dismay was looking right at her.

She didn't know what it was about these boys but she couldn't hold in her laughter or her tears with them.

Her vision was clouded but she felt herself being led to the couch. She locked eyes with Carlos and whispered a tearful "I'm sorry."

James just rubbed her back, "What happened?"

Logan was examining her arm, he sighed when he realized she didn't break skin so they didn't have to go through the cleaning process thoroughly.

Jasmine ran them through the conversation with her mom earlier that night.

"You're going to be a cover girl?! Sweet!" Kendall grinned.

"_Maybe. _But no one wants a fat cover girl." She replied.

"I really wish you'd stop saying all this crap about yourself." James whispered.

"You'd be an amazing cover girl." Carlos nodded, staring off into space, probably imagining it.

Logan whispered "We love you, no matter what, you're beautiful."

Kendall just looked smug.

"What?"

"Oh nothing. Just a song idea, can I have a notepad and pen?"

"You guys, should probably go," Jasmine grabbed Kendall what he asked for. "Mom will be home soon."

They said their goodbyes, Kendall especially quick about his, like it was when he had an idea. Jasmine fell asleep at peace with the fact, the boys would always have her back.

**A few months later**

**Meet us in the lobby at two we have a gift!- J, Ken, Los, Logie.**

Was the note she found slipped under the door after her mom went to work.

Along with a package her mom had left on the table, she opened it, immediately reaching for her phone, sending a mass text.

_**See you at 2! I have news!**_

**What's that?-J**

**Do tell-Ken**

**? You cant do that!? Tell me!- Los**

**Well? I'm waiting!- Logie**

She smiled at her boys being adorable, going to get ready.

At 1:58 she stepped off the elevator in a black dress silver pumps, with accessories to match.

The boys were dressed in black suits, waiting for her.

"Ok well, I was just feeling good today," she patted her purse making sure she'd remembered the package. "What's your excuse?"

"What we can't just look beautiful without question?" James said dramatically.

They took a drive to the studio.

"Why are we here?"

"We wrote you a song," Kendall said as Jasmine sat on the couch.

Kendall picked up his guitar.

"Aww you didn't have to,"

"We know, it's just…we wanted to."

The other three nodded.

"What's this song called?" she said eyeing them all, realizing what her gift was going to be.

"Cover Girl."

They all smiled, Jasmine especially.

Kendall started.

_I don't know why you always get so insecure_

_I wish you could see what I see when you're looking in the mirror_

_And why won't you believe me when I say_

_That to me you get more beautiful, everyday_

James sang next

_When you're looking at the magazines_

_And thinking that you'll never measure up_

_You're wrong_

Then they sang the chorus

_Cause you're my cover, cover girl_

_I think you're a superstar, yeah you are_

_Why don't you know_

_Yeah, you're so pretty that it hurts_

_It's what's underneath your skin_

_The beauty that shines within_

_You're the only one that rocks my world_

_My cover girl_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh, my cover girl_

_Oh, oh, oh, oh_

Then Logan. Jasmine put her head in her hands, and her elbows on her knees and she smiled.

_You walk in rainboots on a perfect summer day_

_Somehow you always see the dark side, when everything's okay_

_And you wear baggy clothes that camouflage your shape_

_Whoa, but you know that I love you, just the way you're made_

_When you're looking at the magazines_

_And thinking that you're just not good enough_

_You're so wrong, baby_

_Cause you're my cover, cover girl_

_I think you're a superstar, yeah you are_

_Why don't you know_

_Yeah, you're so pretty that it hurts_

_It's what's underneath your skin_

_The beauty that shines within_

_You're the only one that rocks my world_

_My cover girl_

Then James and Carlos.

_Got a heart of gold, a perfect original_

_Wish you would stop being so hard on yourself for awhile_

_And when I see that face_

_I'd try a thousand ways _

_I would do anything to make you smile_

_Cause you're my cover, cover girl_

_I think you're a superstar, yeah you are_

_Why don't you know_

_Yeah, you're so pretty that it hurts,_

_It's what's underneath your skin_

_The beauty that shines within_

_You're the only one that rocks my world_

_My cover girl_

_Oh woah oh oh, my cover girl_

_Oh woah oh oh, my cover girl_

_Whoa oh, my cover girl_

_Whoa oh, my cover girl_

The guitar stopped playing and Jasmine smiled, wiping a tear.

"That was beautiful guys thank you."

"So?" Carlos jumped up and took her hands. "What's your news?"

That was followed by "Oh right," "well?" And "Spill Missy."

Jasmine laughed.

"What's so funny?" Kendall rose an eyebrow.

"That song was perfect." She said.

"That makes you laugh?" Logan looked confused.

Jasmine reached in to her oversized purse.

"No, it's just you guys are right. I'm a cover girl."

"Of course you are but what's your news?" James said.

She just tossed him a magazine.

"That's a nice picture of you," Kendall said looking at the picture quickly.

"But _what's _your news?"

"I just told you. I'm a _cover girl." _she closed the magazine and pointed to the title.

Their smiles never got old, and neither did their hugs.

"I love you guys,"

"We love you more."


End file.
